Lethal ANEC

- Honey, where have you been?.
- In Yandex.
- It is strange, and your monitor looks as though you're watching porn.

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- When I was in seventh grade, near the school put a beer stall. And I'm five years was in seventh grade.

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Helmet, camouflage, a gas mask and rifle M-16 is just so simple an American oilman.

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Grazing in a meadow a huge bull, calmly nibbling green grass. Suddenly he sees in the distance some white point and starts to follow her. The point, approaching gradually turns into a white ball. The bull did not notice that the ball - in fact, the rabbit. Running up against the bull, rabbit yoke fingers and begins to yell:.
- You, Loch cattle, deliver me the way, okay?.
Bull continues to stand still, looking at the rabbit with the kind of indifferent. Rabbit:.
- You're human, freak, can not hear, I said, come on the road, if the horns do not want to!.
The bull does not move. Rabbit continues to run down:.
- Do you human, ears clogged by shit? .
Deaf bull snorts of boredom, turns his back to the rabbit, it dumps the contents of his intestines and slowly goes away. Five minutes passed, ten, already flies flew... Finally, the rabbit can not poke his head out of this heap. After cleaning the clogged his mouth, he starts yelling after the bull:.
- What the crap?.

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Sensation!.
Chechen rebels seized a bus carrying Chechen fighters!.

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The question with Forums yesterday on its ' top ten ' clocked up to 210 km / h. Question - how to flush shit? .

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Postgraduate Institute of Physics and professor of physical education did not find common topics for conversation and silence so fucked.

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- What is different from the virtual real sex?.
- Real - this is when fly scared, and virtual - to fly.

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Requires a handyman at the plant мебельноколбаснометалургический.

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The group of climbers from Israel successfully bypassed Everest.

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- Of course, the laughter - the best medicine. But not if you have diarrhea.

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The phrase ' sex organs ' goes deep into antiquity - their so- called because in the old days, they were large and dull dragging on the floor.

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The doctor goes to the man in the hospital:.
- All went well. Well, you want to have the second?.
husband:.
- What are you, Doctor, but that's sorted out with the.
Doctor in the staffroom:.
- Dus, second should be sent to the stem.

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- Agriculture of Latvia - a silo, smelos, lovkos!.

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Yesterday, two blue berets persuaded to change the orientation of the two pink caps.

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Cuhariki with a taste of caviar is like Lada with the smell of Maserati.

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The theater is a premiere. And then it turns out that one of the performers became ill. And since the role was small ( he was supposed to go on stage with the package, saying, ' I am a messenger from Penza ' pay packet and go ), then noticed his absence too late. Director on the verge of a heart attack, the actors in a panic, no one to replace. Then watch the fireman sits Uncle Vanya.
We quickly taught him what to do, and dressed to the stage. It turns out Uncle Vanya on stage and says:.
- I am a messenger from the pussy. ( Thinks to himself, ' Something I can not say it ). Repeats more loudly:.
- I'm bitching messenger. (Pause). Even louder:.
- I hunted fucking. He turns to the audience and with a surprised face says:.
- That's fucked up, I drove.

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New Russian conversation between two near the monument ' Glory to the soldiers sailors ':.
- A normal guy, the Glory.
- Yeah, a monument to the sailors sbatsal!.

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Russian language courses for foreign tourists visiting Russia:.
Sir! .

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He: I love you.
She: I ).
He: I want in the ass.
It, Go.

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Zaoochnik student takes the test in the Transport University:.
Professor: Tell us how to set up this little thing here?.
Extramural student: Well, this naibenivaetsya her on here and this this poebotinu.
Thing we vpizdevyvaem this huetu.
Ppofessor takes his student's record-book, and something they wrote, extramural student walks out the door.
opens the student's record-book, and read what he wrote: ' Zaebis '.

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xxx: Our secretary of @ fell on ICQ send chain letters, justified by the fact that she was very superstitious....
Today my patience ran out and in response to what is the next crap she got this:.
...
She stopped talking to me....
xxx: I stsuko, yes? )).

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- All right, I got bored! .
- Chief, and why only one?.
- And the next time fear!.

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football passion.
- Well, Che, the Swedes will win?.
- Duc them Ibrahimovic!.
- And we have Arshavin!.
- Duc are more experienced and more powerful!.
- And we are younger and faster!.
- Well. I do not know. their captain - the gay!.
- And we polkomandy motherfuckers!.

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What makes soccer in Brazil from football in Russia?.
In Brazil, people are sitting watching TV and thought, 'how the boys were lucky -.
for the national team play! '.
In Russia, the players run around the field and think 'how lucky guys -.
sit near the TV, drink beer! '.

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Only in Russia, if the two figures in the dark ssuschim shout.
' Hey, the police department wanted to what? ', It can be heard in response:.
' Quietly bro, we are out there working '.

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Spoil the decent girls are much nicer than cure bl.

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You are confusing me with someone else! .
Gerasim did not hear. He was deaf and dumb.

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Instructor:.
- What is a parametric amplifiers?.
student:.
- We have not been.
- Right! .

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If you have already bent over, then make it appear that tie a shoelace.

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Following the success of the west online auction ebay. com, Russian businessmen have opened your domain with the following subdomains:.
ebay. ru - Main domeyn.
na. ebay. ru - Sales and Contracts.
po. ebay. ru - Support.
za. ebay. ru - Advertising and PR.
pod. ebay. ru - Communicate with competitors.
pri. ebay. ru - Work with potential lenders.
ot. ebay. ru - Work with existing creditors.
pro. ebay. ru - Department of force majeure.
s. ebay. ru - Department for the payment of taxes.